Lauren
I walk through the wide-open space that Honey uses to shoot her Desert Babies portraits. Families come from all over Texas for her distinctive photos that feature babies in the desert environment that surrounds Marfa. In the office, I find Honey seated at her desk, feet up and keyboard on her lap. “Thank goodness it’s just you. I’m so comfortable, and that’s a rare thing these days.”
Honey’s pregnant belly seems to get bigger every day. “How is my nephew doing?” I drop into one of her visitor chairs.
She lays her hand over the baby bump. “I think he’s playing rugby today.”
“Ouch.”
“You said it. The feet to the ribs are my favorite.”
“Won’t be long now, Mama.”
“I can’t wait. Blake is so excited. He talks to him every night and tells him all the things he’s going to teach him.”
“It’s great to see him so happy.” During our senior year of high school, Blake was devastated by the loss of his girlfriend, Jordan, in a car that he was driving when a truck broadsided it. He’s never been the same, and only after he fell in love with Honey last year did he seem to recover somewhat. “Both of you deserve everything you’ve got now.”
Honey gives me an odd look. “What’s the matter?”
“Why would you ask me what’s wrong when I’m saying you and Blake deserve to be happy?”
“Because I know you, and as much as I appreciate that, I can tell when you’re upset about something.”
That’s the thing about meeting your best friends in kindergarten. No one knows you like they do. “I’m not upset… I’m anxious.”
“About?”
“I have a date with Garrett tonight. A real date, not the usual beer and wings.”
Honey lets out a giddy squeal and claps her hands. “It’s about freaking time!” She puts the keyboard on her desk and drops her feet to the floor so she can lean in for closer scrutiny. “What brought this on? We all assumed you guys decided to just stay friends.”
“We did. We had. We… Well, it’s complicated.”
“How so?”
I bite my lip while trying to decide how much to tell my best friend, who is also Garrett’s good friend. “We sort of had sex six months ago.”
Honey stares at me, eyes agog. “How can you sort of have sex?”
“We did it, but it was weird and awkward and well… not good.”
“Ohhhh.” Honey taps her bottom lip. “This is extremely surprising in light of his… well…”
“Reputation?”
Nodding, Honey says, “Supposedly, he’s somewhat of a… um…”
“God in bed?” Girls we knew growing up used to wax poetic about his skills even when we were still in high school. Garrett thinks we don’t know this, but Honey and I are well aware that more than one tourist has come to town for a roll in the sack with the guy known as the Sex God.
“Yes! So, what the hell went so wrong?”
“I have no idea. I’ve gone over it and over it in my mind a million times, but it never makes sense. I adore him, and vice versa. We’ve been hot for each other for ages. It should’ve been off the charts. Instead, it barely made the chart, and it brought back a lot of crap from when I was with Wayne and he would tell me I suck in bed.”
“Wayne is an asshole, and you do not suck in bed.”
“How do you know that?” I ask with a laugh.
“Because you’re gorgeous and sexy and any man would be lucky to have you in his bed.”
The fear that Wayne is right about me has been keeping me awake at night since the disaster with Garrett. Though I’m touched by Honey’s unwavering love for me, I go with sarcasm to hide my emotional response. “And you’re not even slightly impartial.”
“Not at all. It’s a well-known fact that men who suck in bed frequently make their partners feel responsible for their inadequacies. Clearly, Wayne passed off his own failings onto you, and you can’t let him get away with that.”
“Where did you hear this well-known fact?”
“Cosmo. Where else?”
Snorting with laughter, I say, “Of course. Where else, indeed.” I run my hands over the skirt of my dress as another thought occurs to me. “But what if Wayne was right and I do suck in bed? What if it was my fault that it went so badly with Garrett?”
“Lauren! Stop this! It wasn’t you. It was an off night. I can’t stand to see you doing this to yourself. If you believe that crap, then Wayne wins, and he can’t ever win. I won’t allow it.”
Honey’s fierce defense goes a long way toward making me feel better, but I won’t truly believe it wasn’t me until Garrett and I successfully close the deal.